Requiem
by nytecat
Summary: Two HiMEs remember a lost friend.


_**Title: Requiem**_

_Author's note: Inspired by a dream._

It is gravely quiet. She stands still, cradling the bouquet of roses gently in her arms as if comforting a lover. Her once regal form is a darkened wraith against the bleeding reds of the setting sun. The wind dances around her, a lazy yet wild waltz. Her severe black gown sighs softly in the melancholy breeze.

She stands there at the edge of the precipice. If she took two steps forward, she would plunge into the ocean.

But she does not move, save to bow her head. The sight eviscerates me. Though I cannot see her face, I know that her lips are moving in mute prayer. Even without words, I hear her prayer – it echoes within my heart. She is asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness for being alive; for having survived. I know. Because I pray for the same thing, every single day.

I cannot watch any more – I know, I am a coward - and close my eyes. It is a mistake. I see her smiling face; I hear again her fearless laugh. For a laconic moment, I feel warmth. The feeling is brief, fleeting. Then there is pain. It is a merciless torrent, washing over me as the happy memories twist into remembered nightmares. Now, her smiles are replaced by stark morose as the dark shadow of death deepens in her eyes. Her gasped last words fade in the night air; take root in my soul. Her body grows cold and stiff in my arms.

A sudden shiver brings me back to the present. It is twilight and she has raised her head again. She lifts the bundle of flowers to her lips and kisses it. I know her lips move to caress her name. Because I too mouth her name. But in my mind, I hear again my voice shattering as I scream her name again and again and again.

Her eyes widen as I take my place beside her. I had moved before I realised it. Shadows glide as we look at each other, seeing in each other the same despair, the twin hollowness. The wind picks up again, a keening dirge. For a moment, we hold each other with our eyes. With my soul, I ask for forgiveness. After a hushed heartbeat, she gives it.

Then she turns and tosses the flowers over the cliff.

The bouquet breaks. Paper and twine come undone, fluttering away. The roses weep as they spiral downwards. Petals careen haplessly after as if chained to their fated doom.

She does not move but I know what she is thinking. I could read it the way she holds herself, in her quiescent spirit. Her calm...no dead eyes... flicker with indecision then slowly steady with focused determination. She takes a small step forward.

I could not keep silent. She would have cursed me if I had.

"Shizuru!" I call out. My voice is shrill, too shrill. It intrudes into the silence.

She stops. She does not turn to look at me. Instead, her empty gloved hands reach up to cradle her face. Her shoulders start to shake. Dolorous sounds erupt from her fragile frame. At first, they whisper then rise quickly, irrevocably to a crescendo.

I want to go there and wrap my arms around her. But I know my embrace would be unwelcome; it would only sully her grief. I turn and walk back to the parked Ducati. Her Ducati. In the waning light, the blue sheen resembles her hair when the sunlight glinted off it. The recollection overcomes me. I stumble, try to catch my balance but fall to my knees; gravel scraping against my covered skin.

My hands clutch the pitted road as if it is my salvation from the abyss. My hands curl into fists and I beat the tar; anger grips me, self-loathing weighs my heart so I cannot breathe. The tears hidden deep within wells suddenly to the surface. I feel like I am drowning.

Abruptly, strong, warm arms enfold me.

"Nao," is all she says.

It breaks me. I clasp her, crying into her bosom. She rocks me and I am transported to rooftop and a different pair of arms, holding me together when the world had ended.

"Shizuru...I..." is all I can force out from my raw throat. 'It should have been me' is what I want to say. What comes out is: "I'm...s-s-sorry. I'm so, so sorry...I wish..."

Her embrace becomes painful, almost desperate. I hear her sharp intake of breath, I feel her heart skip a beat or two. Her lips that press against my hair are shaking. She trembles and holds me tighter. Her hand strokes my hair. "It was an accident," she whispers. "It was a senseless accident." Her eyelashes glide against my cheek as she lowers her head to kiss me softly. I close my eyes and taste the saltiness of our mingled tears.

Shizuru draws back after a few moments, only to move forward again. She kisses away my tears with butterfly light gentleness. Her hands comb through my hair, run down the back of my neck. Suddenly, she stops and hugs me.

"I have never blamed you, Nao. Natsuki..." she pauses as if in pain. I feel her shaking. This time, I hold her. I hold her as tightly as I can like how Natsuki did for me on that day all those years ago on the rooftop. Slowly, she steadies herself and pulls away. "She loved you too which was why... which was why she protected you at the end."

We hold each other again as night closes in. It is only when the stars come out do we leave, the Ducati roaring in the darkness as I take us home. As the wind skitters around us, my heart is clear. I hear her last words again and I make a vow. Natsuki, I will protect her for you. Just like you asked me to.


End file.
